Countless memes exist about how Gen X is a tough, often overlooked generation, and there are a million more memes about how we’re also an apathetic generation (say whatever you want about us, I don’t care). The whole “we drank from the hose and biked alone till dark” thing absolutely shaped many kids who grew up fiercely independent and resilient in the 1980s. But we were also one of the first generations to truly be babysat by TV and that also played a huge role in the lives of millions of lawless latchkey kids.
It wasn’t until I watched Pee-wee as Himself, the new two-part documentary on Max about the life and career of Paul Reubens, (aka Pee-wee Herman), that it hit me just how lucky we were to grow up at a time where a character like Pee-wee existed in the mainstream and the idea that something could be weird — and embraced for that.
Pee-wee’s weirdness was obvious and evident in his films and on TV in Pee-wee’s Playhouse. Here was this ageless man-child in a gray suit who lived alone, whose prized possession was his bike, who screamed every time a secret word was spoken. My household routinely ran out of Scotch tape as a result of my using it to stretch my face into some grotesque skin mask with an upturned nose, thanks to Pee-wee. The character seemed like someone who got to live out every kid’s fantasy life, and that was the initial draw. He was aspirational in his silliness.
But what the documentary makes clear is how deliberate Pee-wee’s choices were, especially in the creation of his CBS Saturday morning TV show Pee-wee’s Playhouse. This was a show that went out of its way to cast actors of color in prominent roles (including Law & Order star S. Epatha Merkerson and Laurence Fishburne, who both appear in the doc), and created an inclusive environment that embraced the unusual and eccentric. Nothing about any of that was by accident. Natasha Lyonne, who appeared on the show as a child, said being on the show “felt like permission to be myself.” I’d like to think this permission to embrace what others might not consider “normal” is one reason why our generation identified so much with genres whose names speak volumes: alternative music, indie film, underground comedy. These things already existed, but ours was the generation that labeled them.
How many other children’s television shows cast androgynous disco star Grace Jones in their Christmas special? (The special also featured appearances from Charo, Joan Rivers, k.d. lang, Cher, Oprah Winfrey and Little Richard, an attempt to create multiple levels of entertainment for several generations. The Muppets did this too in a more vaudevillian-inspired way; Pee-wee took it to a much campier level.) Reubens says in the film, “I wanted kids to learn about being a non-conformist and what non-conformity was … you can do the opposite of things, you can do whatever you want.”
“I just put a lot of stuff in Pee-wee’s Playhouse that I thought, ‘Why not?'” he adds. This includes things like Pee-wee dancing in high heels and holding a marriage ceremony between himself and a bowl of fruit salad. (What’s more fascinating is that while this stuff was considered offbeat at the time, it wasn’t censored and didn’t spark backlash the way that it potentially might today.)
Pee-wee Herman was a performance art creation by an actor who chose not to ever appear as himself in public until much later in his career. It’s because Paul Reubens never allowed anyone to get to know him and his creative process (a fact he expresses regret about in the film), and we didn’t know at the time just how intentional and subversive he was being with his work.
Reubens died in 2023 while still in the process of finishing interviews for the film and he struggled to relinquish creative control of the doc — it’s bittersweet to see him express his triumphs and regrets in these interviews and not get to see the completed product. I was a Pee-wee-loving kid, but after watching the documentary, I’m grateful that it was finished even in the wake of Reubens’ death. It’s a necessary bookend to Reubens’ career; without it, I don’t even know if I would have realized the impact he had on so many of us little weirdos.
